


The Last Goodbye

by twdsunshine



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/twdsunshine
Summary: Soulmate AU.  Rick Grimes was born with a soulmate.  The last words she’ll ever speak to him have been inked onto his skin since birth, and, when they fall from Jess’ lips, his whole world comes crashing down around him.  Struggling to cope as he battles to save her life, he slips into his memories, but, with precious seconds ticking by, will he be able to prove destiny wrong?





	The Last Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was commissioned by @jacksonmaine on Tumblr, and it is my very first commission, so thank you so much, my lovely! I absolutely loved your idea and it gave the chance to have a go at writing a soulmate AU which is something I’ve wanted to do for a really long time. I did go slightly over my own word limit, but that’s more of a guide anyway, and I felt the story needed it, so I really hope this is something like you had in mind…

For as long as he’d known her, Jess had always told him that having a soulmate was bittersweet.  She’d laboured over the point, torturing herself with unknowns, and Rick had sought time and time again to comfort her, to reassure her that it didn’t matter what the marks etched on their skin said: they belonged together.  He was surer of that than of anything, and he hated to see her question it.  Because the truth was, in a world where those with soulmates were born with the last words their true partner would ever speak to them inked over their heart, you could never truly be sure that you were with that person, the right person, the one, until the time came to say goodbye.  Hence Jess’ conviction that perhaps it was better to not be destined in that way, to have the freedom to trust your own feelings and your own choices, instead of constantly wondering if you were living the life that the universe intended for you.

Rick had never understood that sentiment more until those words, those ever familiar, heartbreaking words, fell from her lips in a pained gasp.  'I’m sorry, Rick.  I-it was my fault.’

His hand flew to his chest without any conscious thought, fingers flexing over his shirt where that same declaration was tattooed in a neat italic script.  ‘What?  No, y-you can’t say that to me, Jess.  Not yet!  Not now!’  

But her head had lolled back against his arm as it cradled her shoulders, cushioning her against the hard ground, and her eyes had flickered closed, the agony that had contorted her features slipping away until she looked almost as though she might be sleeping, and a wounded howl left him as he realised he was losing her.  His soulmate was slipping away right in front of him and all he could do was watch.

 

* * *

 

_Rick couldn’t describe the sense of familiarity that washed over him as Daryl strode from the woods with a stranger following close behind.  The archer had been out searching for Sophia but had evidently gotten sidetracked from his task, and, as Rick studied the newcomer’s features, he knew that he’d never come across her before, and yet…  Shane was on edge, asking questions, fingers automatically slipping to his holster, reaching for the gun that had been confiscated as one of the conditions of their stay on the farm, but Rick didn’t feel any threat from this girl.  In fact, he trusted her implicitly, and had almost opened his arms to welcome her with a hug, before his brain had kicked into gear._

_‘What’s your name?’ he asked now._

_‘Jess.’_

_‘You got people out there, Jess?  A group?’_

_‘N-no.  It’s just me.’  Her voice shook, and he knew that she’d lost people.  Hell, they’d all lost people.  But it hurt his heart to think of her stumbling through the forest, alone and afraid, and he vowed then that he’d protect her, always, no matter who she turned out to be._

_‘Not anymore.  You’re with us now.  Lori’ll show you where you can sleep tonight, find you some clean clothes.  We look after our own here.’_

 

* * *

 

It had happened fast.  They’d come out of nowhere.  Men with weapons, a half dozen of them, maybe more.  Rick couldn’t be sure who they were or where they’d come from, and they hadn’t offered any answers before they’d attacked.  They hadn’t seemed to want anything, motivated by pure bloodlust, and he’d found himself slipping back into the man he’d had to become, fingers wrapped white-knuckle tight around the handle of his hatchet as a red mist had descended over his vision.  And just like that, he’d launched himself into the battle.

By the time he’d regained his sense of self, the ground around him was littered with bodies, and he was slick with the blood of his victims.  He could hear Jess’ shaky breaths from behind him, and he turned, his grip on the axe loosening as his eyes raked her body for any sign of injury.  And then he saw it.  The sticky red that soaked through her shirt, the way her hands trembled and her eyes glazed over just seconds before she collapsed to the floor.  ‘Bastard stabbed me.’  

Rick had hushed her, quietly, stroking back the dark hair that clung to her sweat-slicked forehead.  'It’s okay.  It’s gonna be okay.’

‘N-no,’ she’d continued, her pain evident in her voice, wavering and forced from between gritted teeth.  'I didn’t see him.  Stupid.  I should’ve been watching my back.’

'It doesn’t matter.’

And then she’d spoken again, her final words or so destiny seemed to dictate, and his heart had shattered into a million tiny pieces.  He knew what should happen next.  He knew every inch of her body, had committed every molecule of her being to memory, and he knew what was written across her own chest, what his last words to her would be.  But he couldn’t.  Not yet.  He wasn’t ready to give up.

 

* * *

 

_‘Rick?’_

_One word.  One wavering word spoken into the darkness and his rage dissipated, the adrenaline draining from his body and leaving him feeling weak and unsteady.  ‘Here.’_

_He slumped against the cold, concrete wall in an effort to keep himself upright, his weapon falling to the ground with a metallic clank, and then she appeared, rounding the corner, and his legs gave way.  Even through the gloom of the cellblock, he could see the concern in her eyes, and, when she folded her body to the floor beside him, he leaned into her, resting his head on her shoulder, her dark hair falling over his face._

_‘I’m so sorry.’_

_Things hadn’t been right between him and Lori for a long while.  Partly because of Shane and partly because of who Rick had had to become to keep his people safe out there on the road for so many months, but this… This had also had something to do with it.  He couldn’t deny the pull he felt towards Jess, that sense that he was only truly at peace when she was by his side, and it had made him question everything.  Of course, he’d known that his wife wasn’t his true soulmate or, at least, he’d known he wasn’t hers.  She hadn’t been born with the marks that were part-blessing, part-curse, didn’t have her destiny mapped out for her like he did.  But he hadn’t believed that it mattered.  He didn’t believe in it at all really, if he was honest about it.  Didn’t believe in being meant for one person, in being drawn to them despite the odds, in having a perfect match to be whatever you needed them to be in your life.  Until he met Jess.  And then he knew.  He just knew._

_He’d seen the words sloping acoss her chest pretty early on, catching a glimpse of the dark script between the buttons of her shirt as she’d stooped to retie the lace of her boot, and it had just confirmed everything for him.  And now, as her presence brought him comfort that he would’ve thought impossible in the wake of the chaos that had stolen his wife from him, his certainty only grew._

_She was speaking again and he lifted his head, his eyes locking with her warm, hazel gaze as she reached out to lace her fingers through his.  ‘You can’t do this, Rick.  Carl needs you.  Your daughter, she needs you.  She’s so tiny and she’s gonna need her daddy in one piece if she’s gonna make it in this world.  So, you gotta come with me, okay?  You’ve gotta pull it together for your kids.’_

_He was nodding, letting her tug him upright with her as she climbed to her feet, barely aware that he was moving as she began to lead him back along the corridor towards the light._

_‘Just come with me.’_

 

* * *

 

They’d ventured further out on that run than they would normally, using the opportunity to secure a few days of quiet and solitude as well as scoping out possible hits for supplies, and, typically, the car had broken down several miles back.  Only now did Rick wonder if they’d been being followed for longer than they realised, their vehicle tampered with as they left it to check out a warehouse on the outskirts of the town they’d just passed through.   But it was too late to worry about the how’s and why’s.  

A quick assessment of their location and Rick decided to head for the Hilltop.  They were closer to the rural community than they were to the Safe Zone, and he knew their doctors were better equipped to deal with Jess’ injuries.  She felt heavier in his arms than he was accustomed to when he hoisted her up, and his muscles strained against the sleeves of his shirt as he carried her, torn between the need to hurry and his reluctance to jostle her battered body and cause her any more pain.  But her face, though peaceful, was growing paler in the midday sun, and he knew he had to move quickly.  She didn’t have long left.

 

* * *

 

_Carl was gone.  Rick wasn’t sure where and he sure as hell wasn’t strong enough to follow him, laid up on some sagging couch in some small town miles from anywhere, and he could only hope that the boy had the common sense to stay out of trouble.  Maybe a little time to himself was what the kid needed.  He was so damn angry all the time, and Rick was out of ideas on how to help him._

_At least he wasn’t alone, as Jess tended to his wounds, patching him up as best she could and grimacing as she opened his shirt to check on the bruises blossoming over his ribs.  He’d taken a wicked beating from the Governor and he could feel every blow now, his body aching just from the effort of sucking in a breath._

_‘God, Rick, look what he did to you.’  Her fingers danced over the blue-purple patches, a ghost of a touch, but enough to raise goosebumps in her wake as her attention drifted to the tattoo that stood in stark relief against the pale skin of his chest.  For a moment, he thought she might comment on the ink, the existence of his soulmate, but she stayed quiet, and he didn’t know why that disappointed him.  He knew she’d seen it before and had studiously ignored it, so why would now be any different?_

_‘You ever wonder about it?’ he asked and her eyes flicked to his, her mouth falling open for a second, before she snapped it shut._

_‘No.’_

_‘Really?  You never think about the fact that there’s someone out there you’re meant to be with?’_

_‘Do you?’_

_‘More every day,’ he admitted, and he couldn’t help but smile when her cheeks flushed with colour.  They’d grown closer during their stay at the prison, stealing moments together as the rest of the community slept, but he’d never had the guts to tell her his suspicions.  Only now, when they might have lost everything, did he realise that he might have been wasting precious time by playing safe.  ‘Thing is, I think I’ve already found ‘em.’_

_‘Is that right?’  She was avoiding meeting his gaze now, busying herself packing away the bits and pieces that she’d collected from around the house to fix him up, and he reached out to snag her arm, flinching when the move sent pain spiking through his shoulder._

_‘Yeah, it is,’ he told her as she took a shaky breath, her movements stilling, though she kept her eyes trained on the patch of carpet directly in front of her.  ‘I don’t wanna waste any more time, Jess.  I know it’s you.’_

_‘You don’t know that.’_

_‘I can feel it,’ he insisted, but she’d stiffened, and he reluctantly relinquished his hold on her, not wanting to trap her though he hoped she’d stay and hear him out.  ‘Right back from that first day I saw you at the farm, I felt like I knew you and I wanted to hold you, to keep you safe.  I couldn’t explain it then, but the more time I spend with you…  It’s gotta be the mark.  It has to be.  I can’t make it add up any other way.’_

_‘It’s bullshit.’  She was shaking her head, though she made no move to get up from where she knelt at his side.  ‘This whole soulmate thing…  Who the hell wants a soulmate when you don’t even know if they’re really the one until they leave you?  Or you leave them, I guess.  Either way, I can’t… I can’t buy into it, Rick.  I’m sorry.’_

_‘You’re scared.’  It was written all over her pretty face and he wished he could pull her into his arms, make everything better for her, make her see, but he could barely lift his head.  ‘I get it.  And you’re right, we can’t be sure.  But I like you, Jess, and I can’t… I don’t wanna push it down anymore.  I know you feel it, too.’_

_‘I do,’ she confessed, and he knew she wished that she didn’t.  ‘I do, but, Rick-’_

_‘C’mere.’  He might not be able to go to her, but he could slip his hand to the back of her neck and pull her to him, though he did it slowly, the tension almost torturous as he waited for her to stop him, but she made no effort to fight him as he guided her to hover above him, her mouth millimetres from his own so that he could taste her breath, a delicious prelude to what was to come._

_When her lips met his, it confirmed everything that he’d already believed to be true.  A simple kiss and every nerve ending in his body sprang to life, sparking with electricity, and he was vibrating with need, intoxicated by the scent of her, the feel of her mouth moving on his, the taste of her on his tongue.  This was who he was meant to kiss for the rest of his life, he was sure of it, and he’d convince her if he had to, in a million different ways.  But when she finally broke away and pulled back to look at him, he knew she’d felt it too.  Her smile was wondrous._

 

* * *

 

Every step was torture.  The afternoon heat prickled against the back of Rick’s neck as he pressed on, Jess growing heavier in his arms with every passing minute.  He’d taken his own share of blows in the fight and his joints protested the physical exertion that he was putting them through, and he knew now.  He just knew that he was already too late.  Her clothes were saturated, the blood thick and congealing, and her breathing was shallow, barely noticeable over the pounding of his own pulse in his ears.  

Suddenly the task ahead of him seemed beyond daunting.  It seemed impossible.  It was impossible, and he fell to his knees with a strangled cry, his tears falling freely as he realised that he’d failed.  Destiny was and always would be correct, it seemed, and those words, those damned words that she’d whimpered right before the darkness took her would be her last goodbye.

 

* * *

 

_‘I love you.’  The railway carriage was pitch-black in the dead of the night, those around them either catching a few hours of sleep or sitting in quiet contemplation of their own mortality as they waited to see what the leaders of Terminus had in store for them, but Rick could still feel Jess’ eyes on him as he continued.  ‘I just want you to know.’_

_‘Are you just saying that because you think we’re gonna die here?’_

_‘No.  If I thought we were gonna die, I’d be saying…’  He trailed off as he reached the hand that had been resting over her shoulder down to rub his thumb over the strip of skin where his last words to her were indelibly inked, and he felt her nod slowly as she shifted closer to him.  ‘I just wanted to say it.’_

_‘Well, good,’ she replied with a soft sigh, and he felt her own hand cup his face as she drew him down for a kiss, whispering her own confession against his lips.  ‘Because I love you too.’_

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t sure if she was still with him.  Her chest no longer rose and fell, though he thought he could feel the faint thrum of a pulse beneath his fingers when he pressed them to her throat, a flicker of life, growing weaker by the second.  His only hope of help, of salvation, was still miles away, and his legs were like jelly, and he knew that there was no way to fight it any longer.

His fingers trailed over the curve of her cheek, following the line of her throat, dipping into the hollow of her collarbone before finding their way beneath the neck of her shirt, coming to rest over her heart, over the words that he felt moved to say, despite the fact that he knew they would be the last he’d ever speak to her.  He could taste them on his tongue, like bile, and he fought against them, but they were insistent, and they spilled from his lips despite his efforts, distorted by the sobs that racked his body.

'Please, don’t leave me.  I’m not ready.’

 

* * *

 

_The bed creaked beneath them as they tumbled onto it.  A bed, a real bed, with a mattress and blankets and pillows, but all that mattered to them now was that it was in a room with a door and a lock, and this was the first time, the first time ever, that they’d had the privacy they needed to indulge in each other as fully as they needed.  Rick had his doubts about Alexandria, big, screaming alarm bells telling him to take his people and run as far and as fast as they could, but this, he thought as he eased himself up on his elbows and took in the girl stretched out beneath him, made it all worth it.  Her skin was flushed, her eyes glazed, that smallest hint of green in her irises mesmerising him, and he let her draw him under her spell, their limbs tangling as he relished in the feeling of her body pressed flush to his._

_He wouldn’t have made it this far without Jess.  She’d kept him going through everything: Terminus, the church, the endless months on the road not knowing where the next meal, the next sip of water, might come from.  And now he could finally show her what she did to him, what she meant to him, and he didn’t care who could hear them as he finally sank into her with the all-encompassing sensation that he was coming home._

_Afterwards he pulled her against him, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head as she curled into his side, her hand resting over the words on his chest.  ‘Do you believe yet?’_

_Her expression had been teasing when she’d tilted her face to look at him, and he knew then that she did.  ‘That’s quite an ego you’ve got there, isn’t it?  One night and you think you’ve got me believing that I’m destined to be with you, that it’s written in the stars.’_

_‘You felt it.’  It wasn’t a question, and, when she didn’t argue, he knew he was right.  His soulmate.  He’d found her and tonight, for the first time, he had her all to himself._

 

* * *

 

He felt the moment she passed, though he couldn’t tell you how.  The air seemed to still, a faint whisper through the leaves like the ghost of her last breath as she slipped away from him, and just like that the world was a harder place, a colder one, unbearably lonely.  And Rick knew that he’d just lost the most pure relationship he’d ever had or would have.  The urge to lay down at her side and let nature claim him was almost overwhelming, and he followed the instinct for several long minutes, curling his body around her, warming her cooling skin with his own.  Her scent filled his lungs and a kaleidoscope of memories scattered across the inside of his head, vivid and beautiful, and it was those pictures, those faces that smiled at him from his past that motivated him to ease himself upright.  Carl and Judith.  They were an integral part of so many of those happy moments and he owed it to them to carry on, even if it felt impossible to drag himself back from the brink.

With grim determination, he forced himself to his feet, steadying himself as he gazed down at his other half, the girl that had made him whole.  And then, with a sense of duty and the need to feel as though he were doing something, anything, he bent to slip his arms beneath her lifeless form and lifted her, holding her to him, as he set out to return her home.  


End file.
